I met my younger self for coffee #1

A wonderful tik tok trend, but in a slightly different way…my own version 

I didn’t meet my younger self for coffee. Because I cancelled on her. 


How could I meet with her. I would have to tell her the news. That her dreams will not be reached. She is about to loose her soulmate, her heart horse, her best friend in such a tragic way. I would have to watch her face turn from joy to pain, because of my words. Once they are spoken I cannot take it back for her. I won’t be able to make it right. 


She is so happy, so full of plans and adventures they are planning. She has no idea what is about to happen, that her world will fall apart. It’s not fair that I do that to her. Yet.


I would have to tell her that she had so many memorable moments, achievements and success. Adventures that filled her heart with joy and pride in herself and her horse. But it all came to an end, right when it wasn’t supposed to. She doesn’t need to know that. Yet. 


How can I tell her that. Watch her heart break. Know she wasn’t prepared. How will she rebuild her life and her purpose after this. She’s strong, but she’s also kind and soft and will be crushed to learn what is ahead. She will need every ounce of her resilience. She will need to learn how to be kind to herself, to be so grateful for all the little things that bring so much to her life. Maybe that’s not such a bad thing. But it’s still not fair I tell her. Yet. 


I’ll meet my younger self for coffee later. I will ask her to reschedule. Hopefully I will be able to tell her things worked out for her. When I can fill her thoughts with positivity and love and hope. When I can tell her her life may not be how she pictured it, but it’s even more beautiful. Until then I want her to enjoy her happiness, continue to hold onto her dreams. Her smile is worth holding onto just for now! The news can wait, so can the coffee.

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